sam comes closer and appeals to knox's wants. so knox sinks into him with a sigh, nuzzling his nose into his neck. only, his lashes flutter back open and his mouth tilts back down. more than a frown. it's a grimace. an annoyed grimace. 

he doesn't want to be annoyed. he knows sam just wants to help him. sam just wants what's best for him. sam wants him happy. sam, sam, sam - always doing everything for knox. treating him like a kid with a scraped bruise. 

chiding. thinking he knows what's best. 

but he doesn't know. you don't know, sam. you don't fucking know anything. don't know what he's done or what he'd do or - 

and he's shaking, angry because he wants to say all of it and angry because he can't and angry because he's angry for all the wrong reasons. 

"fine," he says, voice a whisper. "fine, sam. let's....let's go. let's get away from here."

samuel carter

☉

now he's really running, but he chose this, right? he chose to let summer take the brunt of it. and she's still out there, playing his sweet, little plaything while he's none the wiser. until he is. and what happens then, knox? what happens then, when your sister gets hurt and it's all your fault. 

he grits his teeth. i'm a fucking coward. but all these years, he's perfected playing pretend. he hasn't had to. not for a while. not since sam. 

but old habits die hard and so he puts on that smile and forces himself to relax, draws sam in as close as he can. he kisses his neck - soft and sweet and sighs against him, relaxing. giving in. being okay with this. 

"okay," he says. "let's go get packed." he draws back, gives sam a half-hearted smile. "will she be okay with us showing up unannounced?"

samuel carter

☉

"months ago, huh?" he grins that boyish smile of his and kisses sam on the cheek. his hand drops, but it finds sam's - fingers twine together and he exhales. just keep it up. keep it up and eventually it'll be okay. just ignore it. just ignore it all and eventually it'll be fine, knox. 

he sighs and he takes the time to tilt his head back, to look up at the stars. why does it feel like they haven't done that in so long?

"what's the sleeping situation like? am i gonna get to bone you in your childhood bed?"

samuel carter

☉

okay. okay, god. ew. god. ew. instant regret. his nose scrunches and he tries to sponge the whole scenario out of his brain as quickly as he can. he'd been half joking when he said it, but to bring up the fact that she'll be able to hear and sam wouldn't mind? 

honestly, probably cause enough to halt whatever the hell they're doing and make sure there isn't any funny business up in sam's brain. but knox knows there is and it's not because sam has some weird incestual fetish. he's just, er, built different.

"how are we getting all the way to kanto? can't exactly hop on the prescott private jet."

samuel carter

☉

knox, your rich kid is showing. of course there are other ways than private jets to get to kanto. like, a dozen other ways. and it won't be as fast or private or whatever, but that doesn't really matter. sam will carry their luggage for them (because he's stronger and knox doesn't really have much anyway) and they'll hold hands and stand by the ferry's railing and knox will watch hoenn fade into the distance.

like a bad dream. 

he smiles the smile that doesn't touch his eyes, but that's okay. he's careful to keep them away from sam. 

"sure," he says. "we'll go sightseeing." i'll leave my sister a broken fucking mess with merrick and we'll go sightseeing. 

he walks past sam, but he takes his hand as he goes, and starts their way back up the mountain. "c'mon. gotta find captain wherever she is and get to packing."

samuel carter

☉

something's not right with sam either, but that doesn't surprise him. and he's putting too much work into keeping up his own facade to try and assess the damages right now. so he just keeps holding his hand and looking where he's going so he doesn't trip on a loose rock or something dumb while they climb. 

turns out a healthy amount of time of sobriety and some consistent exercise makes one a little leaner. he's barely out of breath by the time they reach the top. 

when they do, he draws away from sam, saying, "nah, don't worry about it. i'm sure she's raiding your cupboards or something.

"go on. you start getting our shit. i'll go find her." he kisses his cheek quickly and then walks away, feeling jittery. he really does go in the kitchen looking for captain. on his way, he slows past the view of mt. pyre. remembers the first time he'd gotten stuck there, following sam to make breakfast for their first...date? is that what that was?

"cap, you in here?" he calls as he makes his way to the kitchen. the pikachu's heart-shaped tail is sticking out from a cupboard left ajar. he glances at some rubber gloves in the sink, dons them, and then yanks her down.

she doesn't give way easily and the shock comes as expected. cookie crumbles fall from the corner of her mouth and knox sighs, setting her down. but as soon as he does, she scampers right back up and slaps at the cupboard. 

"you've had enough, cap! oh. what ya got?" she waves her paw proudly and drops something in his hand. 

a parachute of molly, cinched and ready to drop. 

samuel carter

☉